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#31

Old22-08-2009, 04:33 AM

Isia Isia is offline

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Join Date: Oct 2008

Posts: 166

Default


Beginning of absinence(and recovery)”…FILL THE VOID
We are a few days or weeks free from gambling. Life has stopped getting worse. We are filled with hope and gratitude. Suddenly we find a huge hole in our lives – what do we do with the time that once was taken up by our gambling obsession? It is not an easy task, but one which must be faced.
In the early days, few compulsive gamblers have a clear picture of how much of their time was spent on gambling. Most relate mainly to the time spent in casinos, card rooms, at the racetrack, or in front of a one-armed bandit. In actual fact this usually represents only a part of their gambling life. There is also the time spent in pursuit of money to feed the gambling, the sleepless nights trying to invent lies either to get money or to explain about money that has now gone. Lies to our employer as to why we were missing or why a job wasn’t completed. Lies to our partners as to our whereabouts. In fact, gambling dominated almost all of our waking lives.
Now we must fill this void. Each member should try to find a way which suits him or her best, but it is essential that they do find a way. Some take up long-forgotten hobbies. Some return to sports they once had an interest in. Some resume education (this is something that can be done at any age). We would also suggest that some time is allocated to rebuilding family life or relationships with friends and relatives who may have suffered due to our gambling. There are just a few suggestions. We hope each member will make his or her own efforts to fill the void, and in doing so, will sustain and enhance their recovery.
http://www.coloradoga.org/literature.php?op=4#c8I think the biggest problem are: what to do with adrealina rush and how to stop to compete.
I knew some people to exchange gambling for -(filling the void of adrealina rush -highs and lows) -examples:
-parachute jump ( In Europe-Slovakia is the cheapest -about 100 dollars – and in addition there is a camera men to film you jumping),
-“Step 13’ – romances (it should be warning in GA Literature – be careful –as a result of gambling your emotions are sick –be careful)
-workaholism
-sleeping – resting,
-walking long distances
-driving a car for hours
and so on…
But the best results – achievement – it was to followed simple advise:
INVOLVEMENT
„Get involved.”
“Involvement is the answer.”
“Why don’t you get involved?”
http://www.nottm-ga.org.uk/beyond_90_days.htmInvolvement gives at the beginning adrealina rush –how many people will came to a meeting, how many stay…- as I think one of the biggest problems at the beginning is how and what for to exchange adrealina rush, (to deal with anger etc) –as it is something physical.

When GA started to circulate in my blood? (it was six months before I established GA meeting –hard to belive )
When another gamblers story became more important then mine…
When I saw in my fellow gambler’e eyes – my soul.
When I was crying over –not on what gambling did to me –but what gambling did to someone else…

Get involve -„in order to keep it we have to give it away”…


Last edited by Isia; 22-08-2009 at 04:47 AM. Reason: to add -filling the void of adrealina rush

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#32

Old23-08-2009, 07:33 AM

Isia Isia is offline

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Join Date: Oct 2008

Posts: 166

DefaultINVOLVEMENT-well it makes miracles


I write this in English as not everybody(in polish language) has to know about -how important for me „involvement” was…For Shelly (Michelle)

During my recovery one of the most important elements it was my email box –supporting emails from people from USA, Canada, Australia – nobody, absolutely nobody can imagine -how alone I was here in Poland –in the centre of Europe.
And as I said – Always an email from my GA Sponsor –Marilyn L.(till today we have exchanged more then two thousands emails –hard to believe…).

I remember one day –it was in summer of 2008 -one Lady -GA member, wrote to me from USA. It was beginning for her in GA…
She told me in her email, she was given GA pin at the meeting –It was such a dream of mine to have such pins and to be able to give those pins to members of our GA group.
It was the time I was looking around my flat –old furniture, scars on old wooden floor…
I was short of money –well, it is obvious – didn’t have any savings…But the worst it was my old bed – I did throw it away (to the rubbish) as I was going to buy the new one…I was going to sales to find the chip one –but I was short of money- I really was…
And I didn’t have any credit cards to be able to make a direct order from GA Shop.

And it was one night I was sitting and thinking –GA pins or a new bed.
In the morning I went to Western Union and I send off money to this Lady in USA.
About one week later pins arrived – I was sitting and crying and kissing those GA pins –I was so happy – and you should see people at GA meeting – we felt like we belong to a REAL GA.
A few days later we were talking about those pins in the Radio Station in one hour programme on recovery from comp.gambling.I think sometimes – you people in Canada, USA, Australia – you are so fortunate ones – They are GA meetings every were – all you have to do is to make a decision, to go and to start journey through recovery…or to start a meeting…As I did once…Shelly, thank you…
Isia in PolandAbout bed? Friends gave me an old one – well, after all it is better to sleep on the bed then on the floor…One day I will buy a new, comfortable bed – but there is no money in this World to buy this feeling when I gave away ORIGINAL GA pins – and there is no money to buy a smile on people faces at GA meetings…
During my recovery important factor it was music and you tube movies:

I would like to share song -the singer is Barry Murdock and Edmond wrote the words and he is playing the piano -Friends I never personally met…
“One Day at A Time”
http://www.reverbnation.com/tunepak/1792428
http://www.reverbnation.com/edmondlearyNobody, absolutely nobody can imagine how is it to be in last Stage of Compulsive Gambling – I was there…So if you are “there”-don’t give up, please, don’t give up…

To Marilyn L. – thank you…
Stand By Me | Playing For Change | Song Around the World
http://www.youtube.com/watch?gl=PL&hl=pl&v=Us-TVg40ExM“The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time.” Abraham Lincoln


Last edited by Isia; 07-09-2009 at 05:05 PM. Reason: to add first line + new link to Edmond‚s song

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#33

Old29-08-2009, 05:36 AM

Isia Isia is offline

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Join Date: Oct 2008

Posts: 166

DefaultTo Mr Terence T. Gorski


To Mr Terence T. Gorski with my special thanks for this article:http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&source=hp&q=Relapse+Prevention+and+the+Need+for+Accurate+Information&btnG=Google+Search&rlz=1R2GGLL_en&aq=f&oq=&aqi=http://74.125.77.132/search?q=cache:Qisa_532bBUJ:relapse.intherooms.com/2009/08/25/relapse-prevention-and-the-need-for-accurate-information/+Relapse+Prevention+and+the+Need+for+Accurate+Information&cd=1&hl=en&ct=clnkhttp://relapse411.com/2009/08/25/relapse-prevention-and-the-need-for-accurate-information/#commentsDear Mr Gorski I am so happy you are the same opinion as I am. Please take a look:
‚…But in order to recover I had to know this Program.
I always say – in order to recover one has to know what from to recover and how to do it…”

I said this one million times – on my polish websites. I have written more then 4 thousands post (long ones– translations as well).

And I am living proof of that –recovery CAN BE DONE! – with my own recovery from comp. gambling. I documented it on the internet from 1st of May 2006 till today.

You see – while translating GA Program, as it was not know in 2006 in Poland I had to think carefully -what GA has in mind – I spent countless hours searching internet for informations on comp.gambling and writing email with the Experienced and Wonderful People in the field on comp. gambling all over the World.

It is hard to believe what was happening in my brain – simple language and explanations – it was what I needed the most – Women Helping Women and Marilyn Lancelot and her Book „Gripped by Gambling” written in simple language saved my life
http://www.femalegamblers.info/And one more time –please take a look at my post here about Combo Book 23-07-2009, 09:01 PM
http://www.gamtalk.org/forums/showthread.php?t=113&page=3I wrote this article –below – in 2008 – and published it in English on my polish website.
This article is a little bit naïve, but back then at 2006 and 2007 – I was searching for the best for me as I was lost.

Dear Mr Gorski -Please take a look – HOW LOST I WAS AT THE BEGINNING OF MY ABSTINENCE AND RECOVERY:

ONLY ONE QUESTION

“The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop gambling…”Combo Book”
I was searching on the Internet tonight again. I was looking for informations on GA.
And there I was. Wikipedia – free internet encyclopedia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gamblers_Anonymous
And I could read there:
‘Gamblers Anonymous (GA) is a twelve-step program for problem gamblers…’Am I a problem gambler? I asked myself a question and I search the next page:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Compulsive_gambling
‘Problem gambling (ludomania) is an urge to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others, rather than by the gambler’s behavior. Severe problem gambling may be diagnosed as clinical pathological gambling if the gambler meets certain criteria…”
‘…Problem gambling is characterised by many difficulties in limiting money and/or time spent on gambling which leads to adverse consequences for the gambler, others, or for the community…’Yes, I was once a problem gambler according to those criteria.

So I had to look at the term ‘pathological’ gambler.

„…As defined by American Psychiatric Association, pathological gambling is an impulse control disorder that is a chronic and progressive mental illness…”

O my God – I was thinking. Am I mentally ill? I have decided to be onest with myself and to remaind myself how it was when I was gambling.
And I have decided to do the test on my past but today my anwers will be different -mostly „NO”- so???:

„…Pathological gambling is now defined as persistent and recurrent maladaptive gambling behavior meeting at least five of the following criteria, as long as these behaviors are not better explained by a manic episode:
1. Preoccupation. The subject has frequent thoughts about gambling experiences, whether past, future, or fantasy. MY ANSWER – NO
2. Tolerance. As with drug tolerance, the subject requires larger or more frequent wagers to experience the same “rush”. MY ANSWER – YES
3. Withdrawal. Restlessness or irritability associated with attempts to cease or reduce gambling. MY ANSWER –YES
4. Escape. The subject gambles to improve mood or escape problems. MY ANSWER –YES
5. Chasing. The subject tries to win back gambling losses with more gambling. MY ANSWER –YES
6. Lying. The subject tries to hide the extent of his or her gambling by lying to family, friends, or therapists. MY ANSWER – ? anybody hardly knew.
7. Stealing. in order to seed their gambling addiction MY ANSWER -YES
8. Loss of control. The person has unsuccessfully attempted to reduce gambling. MY ANSWER -YES
9. Illegal acts. The person has broken the law in order to obtain gambling money or recover gambling losses. This may include acts of theft, embezzlement, fraud, forgery, or bad checks. MY ANSWER -YES
10. Risked significant relationship. The person gambles despite risking or losing a relationship, job, or other significant opportunity. MY ANSWER –YES
11. Bailout. The person turns to family, friends, or another third party for financial assistance as a result of gambling. MY ANSWER –NO

O my God – I am mentally ill – I was thinking. Very ill. I had 7 positive answers. Shit! So I was trying to lower the rate. Question 7 and 9 ‘stealing’ and ‘theft’ looks the same for me. Question 2 and 5 as well.
So I had 5 positive – sick or not? It is about my past -but today?Answers are NO.

Yes I was once a pathological gambler according to those criteria. (WAS!!!)

So I have decided to go to GA 20 Questions –my femalegambler history – and there I was – 19 positive anwers!!! Ekstremally sick.

20 questions makes compulsive gamblers history. At that precise moment someone answers questions if she or he doesn’t gamble. So all of questions should be written in past tense. Did you? Have you? Were you? Did you have?? I said 19 times yes as an answer.What to do with Question 18????

And then I have read in Combo Book
“…We are convinced that gamblers of our type are in the grip of a progressive illness…”

What type I am? I asked myself a question? Who am I ?

‘…Our primary purpose is to stop gambling and to help other compulsive gamblers do the same…”

OK I have answered 19 Questions positive so I was a compulsive gambler.
“The Gamblers Anonymous concept is that compulsive gamblers are really very sick people who can recover if they will follow to the best of their ability a simple program that has proved successful for thousands of other men and women with a gambling or compulsive gambling problem…”

No I was just a gambler – can you see above? What a relief! As it was more convieneint for me to perceive myself as a gambler.

Actually I was lost. Who am I ?

I was sitting and smiling.
Because I was happy. It has been more then three years since I have gamble for the last time. I can’t even remember today when it was. I don’t care. For me quality of my recovery is important. Not a quantity.

I was sitting and saying to myself – It is so good that I have trusted GA at the time I have rich my bottom. Thanks God for WHW and Marilyn Lancelot.
I was sitting and smiling because of a question 18th of 20 Questions (Combo Book).
THE ONLY ONE QUESTION IN PRESENT TENCE:
18. Do arguments, disappointments or frustrations create within you an urge to gamble?

And my answer was –NO.
And it was “NO” for a long, long time.
Recovery it is a GIFT. But in order to get it you have to know that “HONESTY, OPENMINDEDNESS, and WILLINGNESS are the key words in our recovery’. I had it all.

And that is the answer to the one of the topics “Reasons not succeeding in GA” from an article “Recovery in Gamblers anonymous”(Journal of Gambling Issues Issue 17 — August 2006) – why people don’t recover – they are lost as I was – and Combo Book with a “Drem World” is one of the answers!!!

Excamle?
How can you say to a 60 years old women – mother of five children and a widow – she started to gamble when she was 60 and became addicted to gambling, bacame a compulsive gambler and now she suffers FROM PATHOLOGICAL CONSUEQUENCES of her addiction (lying,stealing etc) – so haw can you say to her – she is or she was living in a “dream world’ to buy a coat mink? How can you???She escapes reality!!!

http://www.camh.net/egambling/issue17/ferentzy1.htmlAnd now take a look – I was a gambler, problem gambler, pathological gambler, compulsive gambler. All of it ! Can you believe it? And who am I now?
I am a recovering gambler and it really don’t matter what type of gambler I was.
The only thing that matters is that I found a way to stop.
I become a page 17th of Combo Book.
And one of GA’s.
GA – thank you for everything
And thank you especially for question 18th.
And for Marilyn L. – my internet sponsor.
(Iwona) -Isia in PolandPS Question 18th it is a God’s gift. As Recovery is…


Last edited by Isia; 31-12-2009 at 05:22 AM. Reason: to give a proper link to article”Recovery in GA”

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#34

Old30-08-2009, 03:26 AM

Isia Isia is offline

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Join Date: Oct 2008

Posts: 166

Defaultto Mr Gorski -second part


Second part:Dear Mr Gorski ,please take a look here:

QUESTION 18: Do arguments, disappointments or frustrations create within you an urge to gamble?
http://www.femalegamblers.info/past-issues/oct2008.htmTake a look please

(my post here from 17-08-2009, 07:37 PM
http://www.gamtalk.org/forums/showthread.php?t=332„….I know that impulse is much worse then an urge!!!!!
I have learn In GA – I am not responsible for the first thought which comes to my mind – so I am not responsible for impulses as it is subconscious level – BUT:
I am responsible for what I do with it – take a look -it is conscious level now – choice- so I was thinking about something else.

I stopped to gamble in the end of 2005 – since then – as I see it today – I was doing everything to cope with urges – I was constantly busy!( I didn’t know GA Literature at that time)
But in June 2006 it was a night – I had a very strong impulse! It was painful! It was an obsession – so I was sitting all night long and writing on my website– reporting what was happening with me.
SO:
Until that night – I was coping with urges very well– I was busy.

But when impulse to gamble – attacked me – well – it was hard.

It was a horrible night – but it was last time I had an impulse or urge(“a must to do”).

Since then I didn’t have any urges or impulses – and they gets less and less over time for many people –Bruce –you are right.
In my opinion worst is an impulse – but as I said – it is a thought – you are not responsible for it – it can happen any time – but you are responsible what you do with it!
It can happen even when you control urges very well…”

(my post here from 17-08-2009, 07:37 PM
http://www.gamtalk.org/forums/showthread.php?t=332Isia in Poland

I wrote:
„…I have learn In GA – I am not responsible for the first thought which comes to my mind – so I am not responsible for impulses as it is subconscious level – BUT……”

You see for me GA it is Marilyn L. – and I was writing emails with Her all night in order to understand it.
How many people life this Women saved?
She is to humble to talk about it- but I can assure – many lifes was saved because of this incredible Women -and as I said – I am a living proof of it – one can recover from comp.gambling – but in order to do it – many Great People helped and supported me as well…
thank you

Will I ever pay it back? I will try…As I don’t have to be perfect any longer…It is such a relief…


Last edited by Isia; 30-08-2009 at 03:45 AM.

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#35

Old07-09-2009, 05:13 AM

Isia Isia is offline

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Join Date: Oct 2008

Posts: 166

DefaultRecovery and criticism


In respons to Rusty’s post 06-09-2009, 07:07 AM – thank you
Reflections Saturday, September 5, 2009
“…When you are sincere in your efforts, you have nothing to fear from criticism. For when you are sincere, criticism can make you stronger and more effective…”
Ralph MarstonRecovery and criticism

Why do I love GA? They say: “we will love you until the day you will love yourself”.
It took me some time to understand what GA means by that.

I remember once, I wrote to my Sponsor an email –I told her some story about me – and I was waiting for her to tell me –“wow, you were and you are so brave, I admire you” etc.
Instead an email came: “it is just pathetic. I have heard so many stories like this one”.
I was sitting and I was speechless.
What??? She suppose to tell me – “poor little Isia, I was crying for hours, your story is heart breaking, you are excellent, you are so brave…GA all over the World is crying over your story…”etc.

What??? My story is pathetic? I was speechless and I couldn’t decide what to do –to cry? or to smile? To be offended or not?
So I was sitting all day thinking –why did she say that?
And on the end of it – I said to myself – well, my little story is really pathetic. And I was embarrassed with myself.

Well, I know today – my Sponsor KNEW I was ready to go to the next stage of recovery. It was the right moment.I was ready for a criticism. I WAS READY!
And I was ready to stop to feel self pity.

But what is the most important – on the end of her email it was this little line : ”I love you”.

It was a lesson for me during my recovery from comp.gambling – what healthy criticism means.
Criticism doesn’t mean I am not accepted.
Criticism means – someone cares about me.
And in order to show me good way – tells me what I do wrong.
In order -for me not to choose again the wrong path.
But to help me to choose the good one.
And it was much easier for me to make the right choices in next stages of my recovery.
And I didn’t wanted to feel embarrassed with myself amymore.

Isia in PolandAs it is said in this article:
“A2. Reasons for not succeeding in GA
…Members have told us that some gamblers are simply not ready, the idea being that they have not, in 12 Step jargon, „hit bottom”—only after one has suffered enough will there be willingness to face the problem and address it…”
http://www.camh.net/egambling/issue17/ferentzy1.htmlI suffered enough.
When I have hit my bottom I was devastated emotionally, my soul, my body, my mind –they were sick, very ill.
I love GA for taking care –that everything in the process of recovery will recover.
Emotions, soul, mind and body
As –in my opinion – there is no real recovery while something stays ill.

About my story?
In the 1993 (or 1992 ?-doesn’t metter)I went under surgery because of a skin cancer –it was my right hand –after leaving hospital I went straight to a casino. As I wasn’t able to hold cards for a few days in my right hand, I was holding cards in my left hand.
What did I say that to my Sponsor?
“I was brave all my life – I was in pain, but I was gambling”
Today I can only laugh when I think of that.
But you should see me while writing an email to my Sponsor –I was crying, I needed her to tell me how brave I was…
Thank god, for this little word “pathetic”.
Instead of taking care of myself –I was gambling.
Was it sick? Yes it was.

I know if I will write to gaming industry about me holding cards in my left hand– I will be call a Hero…
But, no thanks.

HONESTY, OPENMINDEDNESS, AND WILLINGNESS are the key words in our recovery.http://www.coloradoga.org/old/combo.htm#newAnd a WISE (well-balanced) GA Sponsor as well…


Last edited by Isia; 14-09-2009 at 02:48 AM. Reason: to correct my English-I am sorry for mistakes

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#36

Old12-09-2009, 07:34 AM

Isia Isia is offline

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Join Date: Oct 2008

Posts: 166

DefaultBottoms of Recovery


BACK THEN – My Recovery April 2007“…Years ago, Dr. Albert Alder prescribed this remedy for depression to a patient: „You can be healed if every day you begin the first thing in the morning to consider how you can bring a real joy to someone else. If you can stick to this for two weeks, you will no longer need therapy…” September 10 Reflection for the Day

When I look back, I can’t believe in, what I went through during my recovery.
How was it possible???
I remember when I found on the internet OLD GA Forum on line from Australia – excellent forum with a lot of love and understanding back then…I was sitting and reading it sometimes.
I was very weak at that time- I was spending about 18 hours a day at the front of computer as I was reading a lot, writing a lot, translating WHW and I was a chair person twice a week at GA meetings.
I was writing many emails with my GA Sponsor as well and She was always telling me: “Isia take care with yourself as if you don’t -you won’t have enough strength to look after other people…”

Well…
When I discovered on an OLD GA Australian Forum on line “12 Steps as per blue book & Combo Page 17” –well, it was a total shock for me.
Today I know that in Step 11 there is a piece of The Prayer of Saint Francisand “…an alternate version is found in Chapter 11 (Page 99) of the „Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions”, a book published by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc…”
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prayer_of_Saint_FrancisBut back then in April of 2007 how could I now that???
First – I was reading a little bit and then I started to translate it immiediatelly and it was a total shock for me (Infinitiv form of the text).

I was translating for about 12 – 15 hours(or maybe more?) and as I said – I was in shock.
It was like conversation with God – Himself. It was a big Question of mine – God, how come, you knew what was happening with me all the time – why didn’t you help me? Why? I wasted 15 years of my life! When I look at the mirror I ask myself a question – what has happened to me? Why do I look so old?

I couldn’t stop to translate. After I finished – I collapsed. It happened to me only once before- on a parking lot – it was after I was gambling for 72 hours.

TODAY
Each time I read September 10 Reflection for the Day I wish I could talk to Dr Adler (he died in 1942) and I could say to him this one:

Dear Dr Adler – it is almost 100 hundred years later you prescribed remedy for a depression – ‘ to be at a service to other people’. You were absolutely right. I was lucky enough to be at service– and in addition – to be loved by unknown to me -people in GA. I was sitting today and was looking at the map – I was looking at those little dots on the map – Arizona, New Jersey, Florida, Toronto, Vancouver, Sydney and so on.
And then I read September 11 Reflection for the Day about love.
In the evening I watched a movie “World Trade Centre” and I have pay a special attention to the end of this movie –“ something horrible has happened, but we should look for the bright side of it –for all the goodness this tragedy brought up in people. For people helping to each other…”
Then I looked at the map one more time and I said this to myself in my prayer:
“one day I will go to all those little spots on the map in order to meet all those Great People who have helped me and loved me during my recovery to say: thank you”.I am the luckiest person on this Earth.

Isia in Poland

12 Steps as per blue book & Combo Page 17
Step 11
“…God make me a channel of peace, that where there is hatred, I may bring of these treasures too. This we would try to do by what we called self-love. That where there is wrong, I may bring the spirit of forgiveness. That where there is discord, I may bring harmony. That where there is error, I may bring truth. That where there is doubt, I may bring hope. That where there are shadows, I may bring light. That where there is sadness, I may bring joy. God grant that I may seek rather to comfort than to be comforted, to understand than be understood, to love than to be loved.

For it is by self-forgetting that one finds. It is by forgiving that one is forgiven. It is by letting the gambling urge die that one awakens to the G.A. way of life…”

12 Steps as per blue book & Combo Page 17
Step One

We admitted we were powerless over gambling – that our lives had become unmanageable.

Who likes to admit defeat? Almost no one. Every instinct we have says we will make it tomorrow, we are not powerless. It is very difficult to admit weakness. We have a mind obsession that says, “Not true! Not true!” Yet, something is always reminding us of the destructiveness of our gambling. No other kind of destruction is quite like this, an emotional illness. Once this fact is accepted, our human concerns are complete.

Upon entering GA, we take another view of this absolute humiliation. We come to believe only through utter defeat are we able to take our first steps towards sanity and strength. Our admission of personal defeat turns out to be our foundation upon which happy and purposeful lives may be built.

When first challenged to admit defeat, most of us revolted. We had approached GA, expecting to be taught self-confidence and will power. Then we were told that so far as gambling is concerned, self-confidence was not an asset, in fact it was a distinct liability. We were then told that we were the victims of a mental obsession, so subtly powerful that no amount of human will power could break it. There was no such thing as the personal conquest of this compulsion. Few, indeed, were those so afflicted who ever conquered their illness through single-handed efforts. Under the lash of gambling, we were driven to GA and there we discovered the fatal nature of our situation.

Then, and only then, do we become open-minded to conviction and willing to listen, as only the dying can be. We stand ready to do anything that will lift the merciless obsession from us…”

[Updated on: Thu, 15 March 2007 12:59]
from an OLD GA Forum on line…why do I feel like crying each time I read this?


Last edited by Isia; 12-09-2009 at 07:58 AM. Reason: to correct my English -hopeless job

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#37

Old24-09-2009, 11:11 PM

Isia Isia is offline

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Posts: 166

DefaultJoy of Recovery:Tippler and Gambler


This is a part of my post dated 04-08-2009, 06:56 AM:
“…And then I started to “play” with biscuits – exactly the shape of tokes – I placed it from one hand to the other.
It was done in a subconsciousness way – I was like dr Pawlow’s Dog???…”I wasn’t, please believe me, not even near Freud’s theory on comp. drive to gamble and “his believe in transformation of the child’s compulsive drive to masturbate –rising tension, the excitement and pleasure, the frenetic driven ness and the use of hands”.
I am a women and I never ever had “the desire to replace my father as my mother mate or lover”.

There is many theories like Simmel’s, Stekel’s, Bergler’s and so on.

I think – when I was loosing – I was finding reasons to excuse myself and to find someone to blame. As when I was winning – my childhood wasn’t so bad, people around me were nice and sweet, I could remember teachers at school as a nice, friendly people etc.
It is a base and superstructure.

Each time I read story abort tippler visited by A Little Prince, I say to myself –it is a pity Saint –Exupery didn’t write about gambling. As I think, it will look like this:

A paraphrase of „A Little Prince”
chapter 12 Tippler and Gambler

After Little Prince left planet inhabited by a tippler, he decided to go to -ablaze with light – planet.

This beautiful planet was inhabited by gamblers in a huge casino. This was a very short visit, but it plunged the little prince into a state of happiness.
“What are you doing there?” he said to the gambler, whom he found settled
down in silence before a slot machine
“I am gambling,” replied gambler.
“Why are you gambling?” demanded the little prince.
“Because I like it, I am winning, life is wonderful and I am such a happy person” -replied gambler
“The grown-ups are certainly very, very odd,” Little Prince said to himself, as he
continued on his journey.

“I finally managed to find a happy person” – said to himself a Little Prince and he decided to go back.
This was again a very short visit, but it plunged the little prince into even deeper deep dejection.
“What are you doing there?” he said to the same gambler, whom he found settled
down in silence before a slot machine

“I am gambling ,” replied the gambler.
“Why are you gambling?” demanded the little prince.
“I don’t know, I am loosing, I am hopeless ” replied the gambler.
“So why are you gambling?” demanded the little prince.
“So that I may forget,” replied the gambler.
“Forget what?” inquired the little prince, who already was sorry for him.
“Forget that I am ashamed,” the gambler confessed, hanging his head.
“Ashamed of what?” insisted the little prince, who wanted to help him.
“Ashamed of myself – gambling!” The gambler brought his speech to an end, and shut
himself up in an impregnable silence.

And the little prince went away, puzzled.
“The grown-ups are certainly very, very odd,” he said to himself, as he
continued on his journey.

How is it possible while doing the same thing over and over again the same person can be so happy and a few moment s later so sad? – said to himself a Little Prince and he decided to go back.

This time Gambler was happy again. He was winning. He was smiling.
“Why are you gambling?” demanded the little prince.
“Because I like it, I am winning, life is wonderful and I am such a happy person” -replied gambler.

Little Prince looked at him confused and decided to go to see what tippler was doing. He was sleeping.
So he decided to a visit a Happy Gambler, again.
But the gambler wasn’t there.
He was robbing the bank.

And the little prince went away, puzzled.
“The grown-ups are certainly very, very odd,” he said to himself, as he
continued on his journey…”

Isai in PolandI was once totally confused:

“The flowers have been growing thorns for millions of years…”
Antoine de Saint-Exupery The little prince Charter 8
http://cs.swan.ac.uk/~cswill/The_little_prince.pdf“…Do I sometimes forget that the thorns have roses…”
GA – SEPTEMBER 7 Reflection for the Day

How is it today?
I like flowers…and that’s it.
Adrenaline rush? What is it?

The most beautiful description of compulsive gamblers?

1.Compulsive gamblers have lost control over their gambling. For them, gambling is the most important thing in their lives. Compulsive gambling is a progressive addiction that harms every aspect of the gambler’s life. As they continue to gamble, their families, friends and employers are negatively affected. In addition, compulsive gamblers may engage in activities such as stealing, lying or embezzling which go against their moral standards. Compulsive gamblers cannot stop gambling, no matter how much they want to or how hard they try.
http://www.addictionrecov.org/sixtypes.aspx


Last edited by Isia; 24-09-2009 at 11:14 PM.

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#38

Old01-10-2009, 08:21 PM

Isia Isia is offline

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Default


My story? Green part:
http://www.femalegamblers.info/past-issues/may2008.htm
http://www.femalegamblers.info/past-issues/june2008.htmit is my story which ends in June 2008.

The rest? It is October 2009. We will see…
In the meantime? A lot has happened…Isia in Poland

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#39

Old09-10-2009, 06:51 AM

Isia Isia is offline

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Posts: 166

DefaultBarrack Obama wins Nobel Peace Prize


Barrack Obama wins Nobel Peace PrizeDear Mr. President Obama – congratulations!!!
I am so happy for you and I love you!
You are The Best!
Your Spirituality is for me an excaple what does it mean to be Spiritual!Congratulations

Isia from Poland

http://nobelprize.org/nobel_prizes/peace/laureates/2009/„for his extraordinary efforts to strengthen international diplomacy and cooperation between peoples”

September 27 Reflection for the Day [/B]THANK YOU GOD FOR GIVING – DIRECTLY – GA TO US

“…We acted as if the world owed US a living…”
Thank you “US” for saving my life.
and please „acting” this way as you – „
US„- absolutelly right and I love you -ok?“…May I, at last, switch from these adolescent dependencies to a mature, healthy dependency on my Higher Power…”

What is an address of my HP?
Heaven (of course)
On this Earth? It is “US”- safe, nice, reliable, cleaver, best address in the World and the area postal address is: Marylin L. Arizona -my GA Sponor

Isia in Poland :lolIt is my way to interpret this Reflection, naturally…

God Bless America | Playing For Change | Grandpa Elliott
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ArRTsaYY44
in case this one doesn’t work:
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&source=hp&q=God+Bless+America+%7C+Playing+For+Change+%7C+Grandpa+Elliott&btnG=Google+Search&rlz=1R2GGLL_en&aq=f&oq=&aqi=And:
I admire President Obama -and I read and listen all His Speaches – my favorite one is from Cairo from June 4th 2009 http://www.whitehouse.gov/the_press_office/Remarks-by-the-President-at-Cairo-University-6-04-09/“…There’s one rule that lies at the heart of every religion — that we do unto others as we would have them do unto us. (Applause.) This truth transcends nations and peoples — a belief that isn’t new; that isn’t black or white or brown; that isn’t Christian or Muslim or Jew. It’s a belief that pulsed in the cradle of civilization, and that still beats in the hearts of billions around the world. It’s a faith in other people, and it’s what brought me here today…”
„…All of us share this world for but a brief moment in time. The question is whether we spend that time focused on what pushes us apart, or whether we commit ourselves to an effort — a sustained effort — to find common ground, to focus on the future we seek for our children, and to respect the dignity of all human beings…”
And I always pay a special attention to this one
„to save one human life -it is like saving all man kind”

Thank you for saving my life.

US Congratulations!!!


Last edited by Isia; 09-10-2009 at 04:09 PM.

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#40

Old13-10-2009, 02:45 AM

Isia Isia is offline

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Posts: 166

DefaultRecovery -LIFE


I paste it here one more time from ‚Overcoming problems’ ( Reflection for the Day)Another Step

“…Many people we meet in Gamblers Anonymous radiate a kind of special glow – a joy in living that shows in their faces and bearing…”(October 12 Reflection for the Day).

Two years after I found (thanks to internet) WHW I have decided to call Marylin L. -my GA Sponsor and Friend. We have exchanged more then two thousand emails till that moment and I was dying to hear her voice. It was summer of 2008.
As it was very, very expensive to call from my mobile phone, I went to a telephone box.
For one hour I was waiting as I didn’t have a courage to call number in far away Arizona.
She was the FIRST REAL GA member I was going to talk. LIFE!I was going to talk to a Women, who, in 1990 established first GA meetings for Women-Female gamblers in recovery and send to me in spring of 2007 “A Day At a Time” (My Little Blue Book was signed by 23 Female Gamblers from GA meetings in Arizona).

In 1999
“…With Paula Burns, Marilyn started Women Helping Women (WHW); the first issue was printed and distributed to other GA women in Arizona in April of 1999. A woman’s personal story has become a standard monthly feature of the newsletter, and Betty’s story appeared in that first issue. Due to lack of time because of other obligations, Paula was forced to give up her WHW responsibilities, but she has since contributed many articles. Betty became the # 2 member of the newsletter’s ‘staff’ in July of 1999…[…]
…While much is written of the Gamblers Anonymous Recovery Program, and many contributors speak of GA’s influence in their lives and their recoveries, the newsletter has no connection with the organization of Gamblers Anonymous”
from: WHW’s Beginnings in 1999
http://www.femalegamblers.info/So I was going TO TALK LIFE TO Marilyn L.

I couldn’t see her but I could hear her voice.
“…Many people we meet in Gamblers Anonymous radiate a kind of special glow – a joy in living that shows in their faces and bearing…” (October 12 Reflection for the Day).

Well, what can I say, except: it should be add to this Reflection:
“…Many people we meet in Gamblers Anonymous radiate a kind of special glow – a joy in living that shows in their faces and bearing…”and their VOICES.

What is a secret?
God’s formula for living: serenity, courage and wisdom.
(October 11 Reflection for the Day)Isia in Poland


Last edited by Isia; 13-10-2009 at 02:53 AM.

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