Gam Talk-GA Talk-page 3

03-06-2009, 08:48 PM

Isia

Member

 

Join Date: Oct 2008

Posts: 47

 

 


I wanted to recover.I did everything I was told by GA.I was told: Write down answers from GA Literature – I did it. Read 20 Questions from Combo Book everyday -write answers – I did it. And then…

How is it in the last stage of recovery?
Excellent. Life is wonderful.
I don’t have any impulses or urges.
I have been working very hard on my recovery.
For me very helpful was to understand:
I can’t be responsible for something what comes out from my subconsciousness –impulses.
But if I will treat impulses as thoughts – I am not responible for the first one which comes into my mind but I am responsible for what I do with it – will I let it to blossom or I will think immediately about something else.
So each time I was thinking about gambling= had impulses about gambling = I was thinking about something pleasant or what gambling did to me!
That was my way of coping with impulses.
Urges comes from my consciousness – I treated it as a patterns of my behaviors=I was hiding into gambling. Good or bad weather -I was gambling.Haappy or not -I was gambling.Every reason was good to go and gamble.So to stop to beheave like that-it was a goal.
So I did everything I was told by GA – I was busy, busy, busy.

Impulses =thoughts= think of something else
Urges =patterns=hiding into gambling= I was busy = I don’t have it anymore(any longer)

To stop gambling –it was easy.
To work on my recovery-Steps and Reflections -it was difficult and very painful.
But it can be done!
I did it! With a help of Marilyn L.- this great Women saved my life thanks to internet.

And I love my life.
Abstinence and recovery – it can be done.

Isia in Poland

I am editing

The key role in my recovery was line from Reflection for 16th of September:

„Will I believe that whatever pain I experience is a small price to pay for the joy of becoming the person I was meant to be?”

Whom I was meant to be? I was asking myself this question.
Unhappy, miserable femalegambler or happy human being?
Was my destination to finish my life in prison? in mental institution? Killed by someone or to commit suecide?

I was so sick after 15 years of gambling. So sick.But I wanted to live.
So I decided – or my HP decided – to recover is the best option.

Gambling pain was nothing compare to pain of recovery -Step 4.
Forgiving myself.
And to start loving myself again.

You see -God’s plan is the key element of Reflections – for me this idea was very helpful.
God’s will.
But what about my free choices?
Once, I have chosen gambling – at the begining it was wondreful.
Then I went wrong way.
I became sick.

And then I decided – I can’t live like that any longer.
and I have decided to find the good way.
GA was the best.


Last edited by Isia; 03-06-2009 at 09:08 PM. Reason: to add some more

 

Isia

View Public Profile

Send a private message to Isia

Find all posts by Isia